Over the edge
by The Pheonix1710
Summary: I have always hated my life, I have always been looked at coldly..I have always been blaimed for something out of my control..So I did the only thing I could do..I took the easy way out..I have never had a reason to live..after all...Self harm. COMPLETED


**Summary: I have always hated my life, I have always been looked at coldly..I have always been blaimed for something out of my control..So I did the only thing I could do..I took the easy way out..I have never had a reason to live..after all...**

 **Just to make it clear, this story takes place after the Chunnin exam. The Sandime didn't die, Sasuke don't have the cursed seal and he didn't leave. Tsunade is in the village, she works at the hospital. And Jiraiya is staying in the village.**

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Over the edge

Chapter 1

So this is how it is...Huh...

I never thought it would come down to it, but now that I thing about it..I guess I shouldn't be surprised...

I have never been liked in the village, after all..so it makes sense..I guess..

I remember when I was little, going around the village..people would always glare coldly at me...At that time, I didn't understand..

Didn't understand why I was so hated..

Didn't understand what was going on..

I didn't understand anything...

But can you blame me..? Nobody told me after all..

Nobody told me that I had the strongest Tailed Beast, the Nine Tails Demon Fox sealed inside of me...after all..and by my father, no less..

But when I found out...it nearly broke me..but I manage to be strong.

But I didn't know, _how_ long I could stay strong for..apparently it wasn't that long..and today was the last straw..My mask Shattered..I couldn't keep it any longer, it was too much...

I guess that the bloodied kunai that I hold in my hands right now, is the only friend that I ever had..

I have been hurting myself for a long time now, just to get away from the world..from all the pain..from everything..

It feels good..feeling the sharp blade pressed against my skin..feeling the blood dripping onto the cold hard floor..I love the sound of it..music to my ears..

I'm messed up in the head, I know..

I have problems, I know..

But do I care..? No I don't.

I could care less actually.

And I only have the villagers to blame..It was their fault, after all..

It was them that sent me the cold looks..it was them that whispered behind my back..It was them that made me into the person I am today..It was all their fault..

I can't believe I once thought I could ever be acknowledge...that I once wanted to protect the village, when it's so obvious that they don't want my protection..I was naive...and that cost me dearly..

Many times I have had the same thought passing through my head..."Why not grant them the wish, they so dearly want.."

It would be easy...so very, very easy..

With only a swipe of a kunai, I would no longer be here. It would only take a second, and I would be dead. A quick and painless death. And their wish would be granted..

Everyone would be happy..

And I would do it, if not for one person..

The one person that keeps me sane...The one person that keeps me from falling over the edge..The sandime Hokage, Saratobi Hiruzen.

If not for him, I think I would already be at the edge..I only needed one push, and that was it..it would be far too late for me to be saved..

But this was the last straw..I don't care anymore..

Maybe if I had friends, everything would turn out differently...but I don't.

Maybe I could consider Sasuke as my best friend...even as close as a brother..

We have been through so much...yet the feeling is not mutual..

And Sakura..

She is just mean...she is loud, obnoxious, and she don't take her shinobi training seriously. She is more concerned about her looks, than anything else. And she would blindly follow Sasuke, while not even looking at me..

I had tried to be friends with them, since we were a team now, but they just gave me the cold shoulder, and walked away.

And then there was Kakashi..

Though I don't think I would call him sensei...That's just wrong...he has done nothing to earn that title..

A sensei is supposed to learn his students, yet he have done nothing of the sort...all we have learned was tree walking, and water waking..or only me and Sakura have..it seemed he was playing favorites with the Uchiha..

But I guess it won't matter now...I'm not gonna be here long anyways..

But why..? I asked myself.

Why would they hate me for something I have no control over!?

Why..?

I'm not the fox..I'm not...so why would they..?..

I don't understand it...why..?

I have asked that question many times before, but i have never gotten an answer...I figured it out myself, though..

They were afraid. Plain and Simple.

They were afraid...of what they didn't know...they were afraid of the unknown..

People is afraid of what they don't understand, and when the Kyuubi attacked 13 years ago, they lost many precious ones..

Anger began to cloud their mind, and since the Kyuubi wasn't there anymore, they directed the anger towards the next best. Me..

They were too caught up in their anger, to realize the different between the host and its prisoner.

But I couldn't do anything about it..I was only kid, and I still am...though I do wish they could see it differently..

I wish they could see me like the hero I am..

I am the only thing that keeps the fox from escaping, and destroying the village..

But no. Of course they didn't see it that way...and now look at me..I'm broken..I'm nothing but a pathetic excuse for a human being..

And it was their fault..

It was their damn fault!

The fools..It was their stupidity..

I hate them...I hate everyone…

All the things I have endured...all the things I have gone trough...everything I did for them…

And this is how they repay me!?

With hatred…?

A bitter chuckle escaped me.

Oh if they only knew...If they only knew what they were doing to the legacy of the Fourth Hokage.

How ironic...that my father was the hero, that saved everyone, and was respected, while his son, me, was treated like dirt, like an outcast in my own village…

Oh if they only knew...their faces would be priceless...I wonder how they would react..

Unfortunately I'm not here to see it...

But that's okay...it won't matter…

I picked up the kunai that lay beside me, and I looked at it...my worst enemy...and my only friend...

I have many cuts covering my body...Form all the years of self harm..

Slowly, I move the kunai, closer towards my arm..

And I cut...

I smile feeling the cold blade against my skin..

This is the only pain, I have ever been able to control in my life...

Sometimes I wonder..."Why would kami give me life..When nobody else wants it...?" Maybe its punishment...For something bad i have done in my previous life..? I'm not quite sure...

All I know is that i don't deserve it...and I don't deserve a painless death...

I need to die in the most painful way possible...To atone for all the bad I have done..Even if I don't know what it is..

Heh...Maybe I am crazy...Thinking like that...The blood lost must be getting to me...

I can already feel my life slipping away...

I feel numb...

...and empty inside...

It is for the best...

..I bet nobody would even notice...Or care...That I'm gone...

..Except maybe the Hokage...And Iruka...And Jiraya...Maybe they'll be sad...But they'll get over it...Nobody could ever love a demon for long...After all...Right..?

I keep cutting myself...for every scar I make, I go a little deeper..

1 cut...2 cut...3 cut...4...

I don't think I can stay conscious very long..i keep getting distracted..I have lost too much blood already...

..And my vision keep getting black..

I'm gonna die soon...Aren't I..?

But that's what I always wanted..So I'm happy..

..And I'll die content, knowing I did _something_ good...Doing the village a favor...

..I can feel my body shutting down...i can feel my heart stopping..I can feel my life going away..

..And as I close my eyes one last time...I think...

 _'Maybe death won't be so bad.._

 _..Maybe I'll finally know_ _peace..'_

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 **THE END**

 **There you have it. I hope you liked it.**

 **Review!**


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